Building the Relationship with Your Cousin
Find things you both like to do. A good way to build your friendship with your cousin and get them to truly like you is to find your commonalities. These will give you a starting point for your interactions.
On the surface it might seem as though you and your cousin do not have
much in common. But if you keep your contact consistent and ask them questions
about their life, you are likely to find things that both of you have in
common, from something as simple as personality traits to similar hobbies For
example, maybe you both like to play online games or enjoy Pinterest. You could
set up a match against one another or follow their Pinterest boards.
You can use not having many commonalities to benefit both of you. This
may give each of you a different way to look at the world or introduce you to
new activities that you enjoy For
example, if your cousin loves hiking and you have never really been hiking,
consider a hike together. You might enjoy it and even if you do not, it will
still help them like you more because you’re open to new experiences
Talk and laugh often. Talking to your cousin as often as your schedules
permit will build your relationship significantly. By keeping your
conversations positive and light, you will laugh often and strengthen your
relationship even more
Social media has made it easier to stay in contact with cousins. You can
find different ways to stay in touch with your cousin on websites such as
Facebook and Twitter.
The prevalence of cell phones has made it easier to send text messages.
You can send either traditional text messages or use free messaging services
such as Viber and What’sApp.
Online video chatting, through applications like Skype or FaceTime, also
make it easy to stay in touch in a much more personal way.
Remember to stay positive and respectful. Do not insult or willingly
hurt your cousin. If you do accidentally hurt her, apologize and move on.
Do fun activities together. Spending and having a good time
together at different activities helps not only build your relationship, but
also trust.
Making your cousin laugh or laughing at something funny they do will
help get them to like you. Everyone loves a person who makes others feel happy.
Be flexible in what you do. You won’t necessarily like every activity
your cousin suggests or likes, as they won’t necessarily have the same taste as
you. But being flexible will help build your relationship. Your cousin should
be as respectful of your choices, too.
Make sure to spend time together outside of family gatherings. They can
often be stressful and create unwanted drama in relationships
Show genuine interest in them. Listen to what your cousin says and
draw on threads from conversations in your interactions with them. This shows
that you pay attention to what they say and are genuinely interested in them
and your relationship
One of the best ways to show interest in your cousin is to ask them
questions. They can be as simple as "do you like to…" to asking them
to explain something about their education or where they live.
Gaining Your Cousin's Trust
Be a good communicator. There are two parts to being a good communicator:
Speaking and listening. Talk with your cousin and listen to what they have to
say. This will show them that you are serious about them and your relationship
Be consistent in your communications. Once you have reestablished
contact with your cousin, be consistent in your communications. This does not
mean you have to respond to messages or calls immediately, but having regular
contact will build trust between you.
One of the most important components of gaining your cousin’s trust is
by listening to them. Show them that their interests and problems are important
to youFor
example, if they're having trouble in school or with friends, talk to them
about their feelings and help them find a solution to the problem.
Sharing secrets with one another will also help gain your cousin's
trust. Just make sure not to tell anyone their secrets because this may lead to
conflict
Reach out to them. Re-establishing contact with your cousin will
put you on the right path to gaining their trust and getting them to like you.
Keep your first messages simple so that you do not overwhelm your cousin.
There are different ways to reach out to your cousin, including a
letter, an email, or a phone call. Social media is also an option: You could
friend your cousin on Facebook or follow them on Instagram. Even this small
gesture helps pave the way for further communication.
Start with a simple message, such as, "We used to be so close and I
have missed you. It would be great to be in contact more frequently if you
like." This kind of message lets them know your feelings and puts the ball
in their court regarding further contact.
Be respectful and flexible. Make your cousin feel comfortable and relaxed
when you are talking or spending time together. Being respectful of them and
flexible in your own behavior will help gain their trust and get them to like
you more.
Your cousin may have different beliefs and values than you. Respect and
appreciate those differences to show that you’re serious about your
relationship
Being respectful includes not insulting your cousin or their family
members. Taunting or tattling on them or telling their secrets to others is
also a sign of disrespect
Meet each other at a non-family gathering. Once you’ve had a chance
to establish consistent contact with your cousin, suggest meeting in person.
Avoid doing this at a family gathering, however, which can be very stressful
and exacerbate problems.
Keep your first meetings simple. Suggest coffee, lunch, a movie, or
sporting event. You can meet for longer periods once you have had a chance to
see each other in shorter spans.
Stay in contact. It’s natural for there to be periods when you
won’t be in very close contact with your cousin or be able to get together. But
even sending a simple message such as "hey there, hope you’re doing
well" lets them know that they're important to you.
Stay in touch with your cousin on websites such as Facebook and Twitter.
Call or text them. You can send either traditional text messages or use
free messaging services such as Viber and What’sApp.
Online video chatting, via applications like Skype or FaceTime, also
make it easy to stay in touch in a more personal way.
Continue to show you care. Beyond staying in contact, it’s good to
show your cousin that you care about them. There are many simple ways to do
this from remembering their birthday to offering to help with a problem
Remembering dates that are important to your cousin will help maintain
your relationship. Write down birthdays, anniversaries, and important upcoming
events so that you send your cousin wishes on these dates.
Offering to help your cousin, when they have a problem or otherwise,
also shows that you still care about them. This can be as simple as babysitting
when their regular sitter cancels, helping them with homework, or helping them
shop for a special item of clothing
Keep your relationship respectful and positive. It’s normal to have
ups and downs in any relationship, but by keeping your behavior towards your
cousin respectful and largely positive, you’ll be able to maintain your
relationship long term.
You’ll occasionally have negative emotions or moments in any chat or
interaction. Do your best to handle these situations in a calm and respectful
manner and then move on.
Avoiding family drama will help you to keep the relationship with your
cousin respectful and positive